amoureux_politique: (dean/jo)
[personal profile] amoureux_politique
Title: Some things…will never be Right.
Rating: Adult (probably R)
Author: [livejournal.com profile] lucklessforhim
Pairing: Dean/Jo
Warnings/Spoilers: AU. No spoilers, really. Can take place whenever your little heart desires. :)
Summary: "To this day, I don't know *how* I knew, but I did. I just…did."
Note: SO nervous about this one. Seriously. Feedback and constructive criticism is very much appreciated! Title adapted from the song "Rain" by Patty Griffin. I highly suggest listening to it.

Also! Thanks so much to [livejournal.com profile] beyond_wonder for the beta and encouragement to post!


Some things…will never be Right.

On some level, I always knew it would turn into something neither of us meant for it to become. We were attracted to each other, the sex was awesome and so were the late night conversations over beer. We got really good at pretending there was nothing deeper than the sex. But…It had always felt bigger, y'know? It felt…defining, in some kind of inexplicable way. Like, maybe we played a bigger role in each other's lives than we knew. But, we refused to examine or explore it. I mean, there were more important things to focus on. Conquering evil…you know, stuff like that.

It never occurred to me that he would leave, until the night that it did. And I knew it would happen. To this day, I don't know *how* I knew, but I did. I just…did.


*

The rain bounces off the thin motel roof above them, providing a delicate contrast to their gasps and moans inside the dark, dark room.

Dean thrusts into her writhing body, strong and steady as always. He started kissing a slow line from her right collarbone up and over to her pulse point on the left side of her neck. When she hitches her legs higher up around his waist he sinks even deeper into her than either of them thought possible. Then he groans, and he's licking, sucking, and nipping at her neck. Jo can hear and feel the rough murmur of his pleasure-strained voice when he calls her "Sweetheart…" and speeds up his pace, bringing her mere inches from the edge.

When she comes, it feels like she's flying through the universe. The only thing still connecting her to reality is Dean and his hands running over every inch of her body. There's nothing she can do but throw her head back against the pillow, tighten her hold on Dean, and return his kiss when he moves his lips onto hers and absorbs her wordless moan of rapture.

Dean adjusts his angle once again and pounds into her four more times before he follows her over the edge and comes deep inside of her body. He fills her, deeply, completely, in a way no one has before or ever will after. Jo closes her eyes, drinking in every single feeling of the moment. She runs her hands over the warm, slick muscles of Dean's back as his breathing begins to calm. When he starts to pull out, Jo tightens her arms and legs around him, clutching him tighter to her. She relishes the feeling of his heavy, warm body for moments measured by three deep breaths before relenting and allowing him to move to lie on his side, stretching out next to her.

Jo rolls onto her right side, settling in to sleep for what was left of the night. She notices a red mark between her breasts where the tiny brass figure of his amulet had been crushed between their bodies, and waits for the weight of his arm to settle over her waist. When it does, she hates him a little; for pretending that this is just like every other night. He rests his hand over the middle of her abdomen and he tugs her closer, like always. In that single moment, she almost lets herself believe that he won't go. That she won't wake up alone.

She clutches tightly at Dean's hand over her waist, listens to his heart steadily beat behind her, and falls asleep. She clings tightly to him and the wild hope that when she wakes up, she'll still be in his arms.

*

Dean was finishing lacing up his boots when he glanced over at the bed. The long, lean lines of Jo's back were shadowed beautifully in the beam of moonlight that filtered into the room. Her creamy, pale skin made for a stark contrast to the deep red sheet that was gracefully draped low over her hips.

He's not sure how long he sat there just watching her. But moonlight gradually changed to fill the room with a pre-dawn haze, and Dean knew he had to leave. Jo was the type to be up with the sun, and he needed to be gone before she woke up. Otherwise…he wouldn't be able to leave her.

On his way out, he looked over at her one last time. Her right hand was under the pillow, no doubt curled around a knife, and her bare chest rose and fell rhythmically with each sleep laden deep breath. Long blonde curls were covering her face and he couldn't resist brushing them back to see her one last time.

So softly that Dean barely heard himself, he said, "I love you."

Jo knows she could open her eyes and try to convince him to stay, but really, would it do any good? Wouldn't it only hurt more once she fought her damnedest and he left anyway? With a single breath, she makes her decision. And she waits and waits and waits, staying painfully still. She waits for the door to open. And she waits for the feel of the early morning mist to flood the room and rush over her skin.

She waits, still, for the door to shut with a soft click.

Only then does she open her eyes, rolling onto her back on the bed and running her hands through her tangled hair. Once the Impala's engine thunders to life, Jo cries like she never had before and never would again. The certainty that this would be the very last time she ever saw Dean Winchester seeped deep into her bones, and made the tears come even faster. All the while she prayed she was wrong.

The End…?

A/N 2: This is the most sexually graphic thing I have ever written and while I know it was fairly tame in that respect, I am still incredibly nervous! Let me know how I did?

I have a few ideas about continuing this, but I'm not quite sure. If you'd like to read more, leave me a comment and maybe something you'd like to read in a future continuation. Thanks for reading!

Date: 2009-11-08 05:40 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cougarcat.livejournal.com
Honestly I liked it. The sex may have been tame (by some standards) but it was there to show the emotion of the characters not to simply titillate the reader. This isn't a scene where you can insert just any two characters and make it work. That is what makes a good sex scene IMO. You did a very good job on this. You have me wondering about the characters and what happend before or comes next.

Date: 2009-11-08 06:06 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I am less nervous about that aspect of the story than I was when I first posted.

One of the biggest compliments you could give me is telling me you want to know more. Honestly, I want to know more, too. I'm hoping that sometime soon the characters will decide to tell me what happened to them.

Thanks for the comment! :D

Date: 2009-11-08 10:25 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] irish-bunnie.livejournal.com
Oh now, see... this... this was absolutely perfect for the last thing I read before I bed down for the night.

It was emotional, physical, even mentally stimulating and I absolutely adored it. I want more. I definitely want more.

Date: 2009-11-08 06:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
I'm so very glad you enjoyed it! Thank you so much!

I was trying kind of a different style, so I'm glad it worked out. I do hope the muse sticks with me to write a continuation of this. Thanks for reading and commenting!

Date: 2009-11-08 12:12 pm (UTC)
wanderlustlover: (Default)
From: [personal profile] wanderlustlover
This is gorgeous.

Date: 2009-11-08 06:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

Date: 2009-11-08 08:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] ella-87.livejournal.com
AMAZING, so amazing. beautiful and heartbreaking. lovely written. I would love to read the sequel, please continue. think you handled the sexscene, perfectly. great job!

Date: 2009-11-08 10:40 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Oh, thank you so much! I'm thrilled you enjoyed it! It's looking like this will be continued, though I am not sure when. Stay tuned and thanks for commenting!

Date: 2009-11-14 02:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kaylaclaus.livejournal.com
Aw, I love Jo. And you write her and Dean so beautifully. I really enjoyed your story, it was refreshingly subtle and just lovely. Hope to see more of your work!

Date: 2009-11-14 02:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Thank you SO much! It's always nice to hear that people enjoyed reading. Because I am completely shameless, I'll tell you I have one more story under my Dean/Jo tag if you want to read it. :)

Either way, thanks for stopping by and commenting!

Date: 2009-12-04 05:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3xcereal.livejournal.com
This is amazing! I don't usually read fan fiction that is written in first person POV, but this is just... perfect. Thank you for filling the Jo Harvelle void in my poor SPN-loving heart. I'm looking forward to reading more of your work. :)

Date: 2009-12-04 10:20 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Thank you so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it! I don't usually write in the first person, but that beginning soliloquy just seemed to fit. I am glad to help get other Jo fans through the grieving process, and I will post more soon (like when the semester at school ends in a few weeks). :)

Thanks for reading! PS: I really love your icon. Mmm...Spike! ;)

Date: 2009-12-05 08:54 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 3xcereal.livejournal.com
Oops. I meant present tense. Hah! I'm such an idiot. :D Anyway...

Date: 2009-12-05 07:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Hahaha! It's all good! Thanks again for reading!

Date: 2009-12-25 01:51 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sxymami0909.livejournal.com
"Jo knows she could open her eyes and try to convince him to stay, but really, would it do any good? Wouldn't it only hurt more once she fought her damnedest and he left anyway? With a single breath, she makes her decision. And she waits and waits and waits, staying painfully still. She waits for the door to open. And she waits for the feel of the early morning mist to flood the room and rush over her skin."

This was the most heartbreakingly beautiful paragraph of the whole story. I think the sex scence was tastefully written and you used the right words to catch the emotions between them th at you were going for. I'm now all teery eyed and weepy (my dad's giving me an odd look as he sits on the couch and I sniffle lol) and I'm supposed go write my second Christmas fic *shakes head* haha I should have waited to read this cause I feeling all emotional for Jo and now I have to go write her happy. *sigh*

Great Job with this! :-D


C

Date: 2009-12-25 02:03 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lucklessforhim.livejournal.com
Aw! I didn't mean to depress you with this one! But yeah, I can see how this might have messed up your mojo for happy Christmas fic. :-/ (At least you didn't listen to the song with it. "Rain" is like, one of the saddest songs EVER. For me at least.)

Thank you for the lovely review, though! Thank you so SO much for taking the time to read my stories!

Now, think HAPPY THOUGHTS full of JOY for your next one-shot. :D

Date: 2011-04-05 03:29 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] paolamhc.livejournal.com
it's beautiful.

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